


Full heart

by I_Otaku



Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22472131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Otaku/pseuds/I_Otaku
Summary: Drabbles abt my old oc khajiit rogue I played in dnd
Kudos: 1





	1. A Wave

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gumsbiter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gumsbiter/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Full House](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20535539) by [Gumsbiter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gumsbiter/pseuds/Gumsbiter). 



> Fa'sien is a khajiit rogue, a revolutionary leader who died and was brought back to life by unknown means  
> Orchestra is a gnomish city  
> Drips is his Argonian bff  
> Anything else? Ask if it's unclear

Somewhere deep inside of him is a wave that rises and falls, it breaks against the shore of his ribcage at a dull roar every waking moment. 

**Change.** The wave says.  **Change what has been done.**

Fa'sien does not know who he is, but he feels this wave inside him, rolling and meeting the shore in a rhythm that feels older than time itself. There is much he does not understand but the wave, he knows, is the most primal and pure part of him. The wave is always there, the wave has always been there, the wave will always be there.  **Change** . Change what has been decreed by the fates, give freedoms to the punished and the downtrodden. Give rights and spirit to the powerless. Do any and everything to spread change and freedom. 

The wave crashes against his ribs in different intervals. Some days, it is but a quiet lapping. He is happy, his family is safe, he will not let anything happen to his loves. He brings about calm and reassurance. 

Other days, it roars within him, pulse alight and eyes but slits. He must change- he  _ must _ . Whether it's fight or flight- defense or attack, he knows deep within the wave that anything is necessary for achieving his goal. That he will take his mission as far as he must, to destroy his opposition, to have the final word. 

The longer he spends in Orchestra, the higher the wave rises. It stirs like a waterspout forming over the cold sea. With each conversation the downtrodden are pushed further, there is injustice, inequality, disrespect- the wave breaks with force against his chest, water spilling out of his ribs and down to fill his body. It continues, the more he learns the harder it is to walk, to breathe, to tolerate the actions of those who refuse to listen. 

The storm is rushing through his veins, lighting bristling his skin, storm clouds darkening his eyes- water is filling his body, sloshing through his legs, his stomach, his chest, it climbs up and over his mouth and suddenly he's drowning-

It’s rage, the power he cannot understand that drives him so hard and so deep that he can no longer think, save that one word-

**Change.**

**Change. Change. Change.** **_Change. Change._ ** **_Change._ **

It consumes him where he stands, the wave thrashing his body against the craggy shore of too much and not enough, feeling and knowing but never being able to understand. He must change- he must do whatever he can, give whatever he must to change what he sees.

His hands shake as he breaks the prison locks, though be it rage or fear he does not know. 

The water drowns out any words, from his companion or from his sibling beside him.  **Change.** His body roars, neck tingling and waves continuing to batter his body forward.

It is only when Scound is escaping, rushing out of the sewer to freedom and the next meeting of his clan, that Fa can think again. 

It is only when he looks over at Drips, the early evening light catching the family piercing (that he knows does no longer belong to him, he does not know who he is. But he knows Drips. He knows they are any and everything family is meant to be. He knows whatever version of his sisters, real or imagined as they may be, would love Drips.) that the storm breaks. The crashing waves still, the water seeps from his ribs in that powerful flush, taking with it the dark clouds and swirling pain. 

The storm calms. The waves are quiet. Everything will be alright. 


	2. Post finale

"Hey Fa?" Eritin's quiet mumble is just loud enough to wake his khajiit partner, Fa'sien rolling over to face him in the lumpy bed. Lost sleep still rests heavy in his bones, but now that the guilt and remorse caused by Taldyn is gone- it is a restful sleep. Fa mumbles some half thought and scrubs one of his eyes- warm sunset light fades through the mostly curtained window. 

"It's still early." Fa drops his head back into his pillow, a second thought mumbled by the fluff.

"It's not early, it's almost night." Eritin runs a hand down Fa's back, hooking a hand in the small of his hip and hefting him closer. Chest to chest Fa makes a very cute noise- (Eritin's not even sure if Fa's aware of how his rumble of contempt turns to a pleased purr- but the the soft rumble of contentment and peace is a sound Eritin finds himself treasuring) and shuffles his head to rest on Eritin's pillow. The proximity makes the noise more noticeable, Tintin using his calloused fingers to trace down his lover like playing his lute. Dancing back and forth, up and down.

"you're thinking about something." Fa's voice is clear, he must be fully awake although Eritin won't look down to see. His own gaze is fixed in the middle distance, forgetting to blink until Fa pokes him. 

"Hm?" He hums.

"You're playing the prophecy tune." Fa shuffles, Tintin glancing down to watch him blink his eyes open. His pupils enlarge and contract to adjust to the low light, before blowing wide. "I don't need to see your fingers right now to recognize it. The strum pattern."

Eritin hums, flexes his fingers before instead pressing into the fur on Fa's back to card through it like a normal rub. 

"You don't have a fretboard, so I'm surprised you recognized any notes." Eritin smiles weakly, although when he looks down Fa doesn't.

"Something's on your mind." Fa says again, "Talk to me."

"You're almost nocturnal." Tintin says. The unspoken meaning of that sits heavy in the air between them. _You are not nocturnal. I am changing you._

"Yeah? So what. Rather not watch you sleep all day and then swap of to- to let you watch me sleep all night," Fa smiles now, and Eritin snorts. 

"Does it not- not bother you?"

"Eri does it bother you?" Fa reaches up to trace over Eritin's side, one hand flat against his back. Eritin's own arms slide down off him, to curl against his chest. 

"Yeah-" Eritin breathes and huddles down on the bed, giving Fa more of the pillow. "It can't be good for you. Your sleep schedule is all messed up now."

"Don't really think I need to sleep- we are both technically undead." Fa smiles again, this time softer. Gentler. 

Eritin wants to- he wants to let this just slide off his shoulders like his worry is rain. But his partner is tired- Eritin can tell in all of his movements lately, cutting himself while they cooked (The dexterous khajiit rogue who can balance his favorite glass dagger tip to tip on his pinky claw). He's been falling asleep while he sits and plans with the general (Although Eupho never complains- he's almost paternal letting him catnap before continuing). He's given up on dancing at Eritin's shows, (Fa'sien who uses dance to show his love- to give himself to the world and be taken in), he at best sways back and forth with his head lolling sided to side behind the stage in the quiet. His eyes- sharp as his daggers and sharp as his mind are cloudy and slow even now, gentle and beautiful, but notoriously not _him_. 

"It's hurting you." Tintin breathes, pushing himself forward against his lover- Fa lifts his chin to let him nestle against his neck.

"We'll figure it out. Maybe I do need to sleep a little more but I've been enjoying this." Fa exhales heavy and breathes in slowly, nose nestled in his partner's hair. "Actually being with you."

"We've been sleeping in the same bed since Solitude." Eritin laughs weakly.

"Yeah but pinning you down so you didn't throw yourself off the bed and break the three unbroken bones you had after _that_ didn't seem very romantic."

"...I thought it was." 

The quiet bustle of gnomes far outside echo through the silence that hangs in the room until Fa speaks again. 

"Right after that- that was what I thought was romantic."

"The first time I saw your scar?" He lifts his head to press his nose against the ring of scar around Fa's neck.

"Yeah I-"

Eritin cuts him off, burying his face in Fa's chest. "Oh gods! I didn't- I couldn't even make a real sentence!"

"It was cute!"

"I just went _'HEAD!'_ like an idiot!" 

Fa laughs- the undercurrent of a purr disappears to be replaced by his full body laughter. "Do you- Do you remember what I said?"

"No I just- I remember being so out of it," He finally scoots back up to the pillow now, Fa's hand slides down his side. He continues watching the scar ripple as Fa breathes, glancing up to see him barely holding back laughter. 

" _I mean if you want it-"_ Fa can barely get out those simple few words before wheezing in laughter- laughter that Eritin echoes.

"The-! The-!"

"I had never met a vampire before!"

"Bodily fluids babe, that's a one way ticket to vamp town." Eritin breathes, before his face falls. The self consciousness, the embarrassment, the loathing start to pile on- the tells are recognizable enough-

Fa has so many things he could say, some he wants to and others he knows he could never, but only one he knows his boyfriend wants to hear. 

"We have right now- we have this. And just to be clear I'm more than happy to pepper you in kisses, I already know you love me in other ways." To punctuate his though he leans forward and presses his lips against Eritin's cheek. Another against the curve of his chin, one on his ear lob and one on the long elven ear as it twitches in response to his fur. 

"Can you kiss me?"

"Yeah, do what you gotta while I practice." Fa mumbles, pushing the strap of Eritin's tanktop to the side and kissing the sensitive skin- careful to avoid the trails of the star shaped scar. Eritin in return acts so wonderfully, swallowing quickly. He opens his mouth rushing breaths in and out- wiping the back of his hand over his lips. 

He nods quickly and Fa plants a final giggling kiss to his collarbone. He pulls himself up and presses Eritin onto his back, one hand supporting his weight over the elf. His mane falls gently from his ponytail, curtaining the both of them and drawing their eyes to each other. It is quiet, private, protected.

Brown eyes meet brown eyes, and warm lips meet next. Soft- chaste- careful- painfully careful as not to push, not part, not poison. As Fa'sien pulls back he sees the tears pooling in his lover's eyes. 

" _Hey,_ " He breathes, leaning down to nestle his face in Eritin's neck. Tintin responds in turn, arms circling Fa's center and pulling them closer. His arms shake. 

"I've got you Eri," Fa'sien breathes. "I'm right here and you're right here with me."

He nods shakily, "Sien I'm-"

"Don't apologize babe."

_I want to bite you. I want to be with you completely, now and forever. I want to live with you, not exhaust you. I want you. And that would kill you- but I want to. I'm so selfish, I want to infect you, I want to poison you, to ruin your life the way mine was. I love you. I want to bite you. I love you. Why do I want to ruin you like that? I love you. I'm selfish. I love you. **I love you too much Fa'sien Adavi.**_

"I love you." Fa'sien mumbles into Eritin's neck.

Eritin makes a scared guttural noise. 

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a break from cleaning and fixing my shit to transcribe this out of my math notebook... I miss them a lot.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey if you read all of this let me tell you I love you


End file.
